Seeking new villagers.

Today was a rough day. 

I continually remind myself that Christmas is about the birth of Christ and not about spending time with family and being generous, but deep down I know I continually tell myself that in hopes to distract myself from the impending loneliness that comes with Christmas, and today I felt it sorely. 

It was going to be a rough day either way with the boys school concerts and the day didn't start well when Jack announced he needed to wear all grey clothes for his costume today- the first he had mentioned to me!. Somehow I made it through the morning and then before leaving for the afternoon concert I opened a parcel that had arrived from my mom. Inside was a photo book of the summer I had just spent with my family in England, complete with photos of spreading my grandfathers ashes and the last picture I had taken with him. I wasn't exactly in a great frame of mind to attend my sons concert with just my two year old for company but none the less I set off in what I felt was good time. 

Arriving at the school not only was the parking lot full but every side street- I would have walked if it weren't for the stroller being so hard to push through the snow.  I arrive at the concert after dropping off Harry late and sit by myself- literally. I am on the end of a row and there are 5 empty seats next to me, in front and behind me. penny starts screaming, she is mad about the rather long walk to the school and because she wanted to play in Harry's classroom. Everyone proceeds to stare at me- like that's going to help- all the grandparents, uncles and aunts pointing at me and shaking their heads. The loneliness starts to overwhelm me. This is our third concert in 5 days and you see I have no grandparents or uncles and aunts to invite. I firmly believe that it takes a whole village to raise a child- but with no family here and still being relatively new I am feeling the weight of being that whole village myself and it's exhausting. So I start to cry- right there in the school gym. No one asks if I'm ok or if they can help but it makes them feel awkward enough that at least they don't stare any more. Penny finally calms down and we get to enjoy the concert in our little Island.

I pick up Harry, there isn't much time until we have to be back to pick Jack up from school so I decide I will run to the store with the younger two where they can have a cookie and I can finish off some last minute christmas shopping and pick up the snacks for the school party on Friday. The last minute christmas shopping is not even from me, it's from my family. I love and appreciate all my family on both sides of the pond and I am truly thankful for their generosity at birthdays and christmas but it's an extra weight. I imagine most "normal" families throw a birthday party for their kid and uncles and aunts and grandparents attend and bring gifts.They spend ample time with the kids so they know what things they like and have seen the toys they already have.  When they are older perhaps they also have a party where they invite their friends. Birthdays in our house our quite different. My children get very few gifts sent to them, I get sent money to purchase gifts and I fully understand why. The cost of mailing gifts locally or internationally is prohibitive and when the family don't get chance to see the kids much it's hard to know what to buy and what they already have- I get it- it make sense! But it means every christmas and birthday I have to do the shopping for at least 6 other sets of relatives, purchase and wrap the gifts and then report back what was purchased (in detail to some of my relatives!)- the responsibility is back on me

So here I am in superstore shopping for various different relatives when disaster happens- Penny drops the last bite of her cookie on the floor, perhaps I should have just given it back to her or bought a box of cookies, but I chose to do the tough love choice and say "sorry honey- you can't eat a cookie from the floor it's dirty, I'll get you a snack when you get home"- full on Meltdown! I try and comfort her but she is throwing a hissy fit. She's not hurt she is just mad. She takes after Jack (and myself!) in that she is very strong willed and I know that the only thing that is going to make her happy is to give her the cookie off the floor (not going to do!) or get out of there. So we rush to pay going through the shorter express lane even though we were over and leave the store while Penny continues to cry and then it happened. Probably not really as a big a deal as it felt, but on top of all the loneliness I was already feeling it cut deep "you could at least TRY and comfort her!" some woman yells at me from above as I walk down the ramp. 

I didn't even see her face but that one simple sentence made me desperately sad and desperately angry all at the same time. I was angry that a stranger who knew nothing about me, my kids or my situation or why even my child was crying would yell mean things at me, and I was desperately sad because at the same time she was the first person who had acknowledged I was having a rough day, she was the first one apply for residence in my village.  If she had said something, almost anything vaguely considerate or sympathetic it might have been the jewel in my day, my saving moment but instead it was the final nail in the coffin. I walked back to the van and proceeded to bawl my eyes out. I went to pick up Jack and Harry explained the situation to his brother "when we were going down the ramp somebody shouted something mean to mommy"- apparently my 4 year old knew what this lady said was wrong. 

In my mind I try to reconcile things and give this stranger the benefit of the doubt, perhaps she too was having a really rough day, perhaps she had a migraine and had to go to the store for painkillers and the screechings of my two year old were more than she could handle. No matter what angle I try to look at it from. I wasn't allowed to have a say in how Canada was run until I had lived there successfully for a while and then publicly declared my loyalty. And the same goes for my village. So if per chance the lady who yelled at me ever reads this here is my message me to you-only residents of the Smith village are allowed to have a say in it's governance and your application is denied. 

5 things you didn't know about being a virtual assistant

I have had lots of you ask about my virtual assistant job and more specifically is it something anyone can do. I have only been doing this for a few months but after an interesting start and discovering some aspects of the virtual work world that I find ethically uncomfortable, I am fortunate to have found some great businesses to work with. I am not an expert but since you asked here is what you need to know.

1) To the Interweb!
The only way I know how to find a virtual assistant job is through site like Odesk and Elance.  Clients from all over the world post jobs that need doing and contractors apply to do them. I use Odesk just because it happened to be the first place I signed up and started getting work.

2) It's not big bucks
Unless you have some seriously transferable skills such as web or graphic design, video production or language translation you wont be making much on an hourly wage. Transactions are done in US dollars and I have seen clients advertise that they won't pay more than 17 cents an hour. I decided I wouldn't work for less than minimum wage and currently make a little more than that. Bear in mind that there are no pensions or benefits and if you make enough you will have to claim it on taxes and pay CPP. As you are a self contractor working from home I would think you are able to claim some of your house expenses as work expenses, I haven't looked too much into that because the clergy housing benefit we get from Chris doesn't allow me any tax breaks for my home business.  The other option is to do jobs for a fixed fee. If you do make sure you ask for a sizeable amount upfront- Odesk has a software that tracks hours you work and automatically takes the money from the clients account assuring you get paid (always check to make sure your clients payment method is verified), if there are complaints or issues Odesk will intervene, their motto is "an hour worked an hour paid". Fixed price jobs are not protected by Odesk, I have done 3 fixed price jobs which I had no problem with but they were all quick (less than an hour) and cheap ($10) but you obviously run the risk of working for hours and not getting. Which funnily enough is what happened with the music studio I worked at for one day in September- huh- not just a virtual world problem!

3) Finding Work is Work
I've been at this for over 2 months and have only finally started to make what I would call any "earnings". You will be turned down for 90% of the jobs your first apply for, usually because people don't want to hire an odesk newbie or you value your time and want to make more than $2 an hour or don't want to spend 30 minutes answering a bunch of questions to get a job which pays you $10. I found more success when I started to hunt out jobs in my field. What do you bring to the table? For example pretty much anyone from around the world can do internet research on restaurant website addresses, but the client might prefer someone who has some knowledge of the restaurant business. The two on going jobs I have are related to the two fields I work in- church and music lessons. I've also managed to get interviews when I do job searches for clients who want native english speakers- generally contractors in the US and Canada want around minimum wage so it evens the playing field. If the client sets a budget of $5 an hour and you aren't prepared to work for that, don't waste your time applying. Some clients are after cheap labour and no amount of skills will persuade them to pay you more.

4) Don't Quit your Non Virtual Day Job
Most virtual jobs are very part time, that's why people turn to virtual assistants, their companies and the tasks are too small to hire a part time employee. There are a few 30 hour week jobs but most are a few hours a week or will be more hours but only for 1 week at a time. I'm not saying it's impossible to get enough jobs to bring in a fulltime income but at that point you might be better off getting fulltime work. I was looking for some part time work with low responsibility and little overhead. Most weeks I will be making more with my part time job at safeway, but if my virtual work continues I will make about $100-$150 a month through Odesk.

5) It's Actually Kind of Fun!
It might not be glamorous of high paying but it is fun. I'm very fortunate that I really like the two on going clients I have and I find the projects are fun to work with. I've met people from North America and done crazy things like plan their meals for the week or review their latest album release. If you've got a bit of an ADD personality and like to meet new people and tackle new projects it can be lots of fun.

FINAL WARNING!!!!!
Odesk is like outsourcing and after you see some of the wild and crazy things people will pay other people to do you will be tempted to outsource everything in your life that can be done online (If my Christmas card comes to you with an Indian postmark you'll know why). And yes, there are for sure some college students paying people in the Philippines to write their papers for them- and no, I do not think that is ok.

The Drama Teacher's Bone

The Bible describes the Church as one body with many parts and consequently- bones, over 206 of them in an adult- that's right - as Christians we have lots of bones to pick! Like teeth, bones shouldn't be picked in public.

Even before the wonderful world of Facebook (which allows you to pick bones, battles and wars with people you don't even know) I was the victim of public bone picking, or precisely, my friends were the victim, as in the big picture they were the ones who suffered. I was thrilled when the local evangelical Church who helped with our school christian club told me they were speaking at one of our upcoming school chapels. Like all English schools, weekly Christian teaching was mandatory, despite the fact the majority of the school were not practicing Christians. Waiting for chapel was torture- I was so excited for my friends to hear about real christianity rather than the watered down version which was usually handed out. The two Pastor's did a short presentation (chapel wasn't that long) it was slightly humorous, simplified, but made it's point and as far as I was concerned a success. We had a short time in homeroom before it was time to rush off to art class. I took my seat and my oil pastels and starting working on some ghastly still life, until finally I plucked up the courage to start the conversation "so what did you think of chapel today?". I was just sizing up the art room sink determining if it would be large enough for an impromptu baptismal service when to my horror my friends tore apart the chapel time.

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici,  / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

You see, their home room teacher was the drama teacher, and she had a bone- and she picked it clean. The drama teacher was a substitute teacher who rumour had it also trained as a minister, she was filling in for an extended absence and at first I was delighted to have another christian staff member at the school- until that day. The drama teacher had used the brief time between chapel and art class to tear apart the message given at chapel. The Pastor had mentioned how his Dad had died but he was still able to be happy- a very oversimplified version of the peace of Christ but not exactly heretical, but it was highly offensive and outrageous to the drama teacher. She tore it and her fellow christian apart limb from limb, emphasizing the fact that Christians aren't always happy all the time and still feel pain. At this point in art class my imaginary lackeys were all yelling "cancel the baptism service, I repeat cancel the baptism" into their walkie talkies. I defended the pastors as much as I could but the battle was lost- and what had really been achieved? 

I'm not saying that it was the perfect chapel, that the concept wasn't over simplified or even perhaps misleading. But surely the drama teacher could have found a way to perhaps expand on it to include the things she felt had been missed rather than tear it apart, or at least cool off and talk to the preacher before venting her theological frustrations at a class of Grade 10 students. She went on to complain to the senior school staff (though she did offer to run a chapel time herself) and the church was never invited back. I don't know what was going on in her life to bring about that reaction,  I presume some deep hurt, but it doesn't excuse the behaviour of a senior member of God's family. My friends had the opportunity that day to learn about the Good News of Christ - but they hadn't heard any of the Good News, they only remembered the bad news that this preacher had said something wrong and couldn't be trusted and as a repercussion myself and the christian club were also tainted. What will they remember about God's family, the church? They won't remember that we are one body with many parts working together, they won't remember that though we are many we have one head in Jesus Christ, that we all partake in the same bread. No, they will just remember the bone. 

We're not in Estevan anymore Toto..........

Having lived in "smaller"city Saskatchewan for nine years I confess that I spent many years fantasizing how improved certain aspects of my life could be in the big city. After four months in the Winnipeg I can finally admit some of my dreams were way off.

1) "I can go shopping at lots of different stores like Target, superstore, toys r us, old navy!"
Truth - yes I now have access to target and Costco, but 9 times out of 10 I just shop at the closest stores, Sobeys and Walmart, which are exactly the same stores I shopped at in Estevan.

2) "Stores in the big city are always fully stocked- the grocery store shelves will be full."
Truth- the aforementioned Walmart is as badly stocked as the Estevan one.

3) "It will be much easier to find a GP as doctors prefer to work in the big city."
Truth- they are just as short of doctors here as they are in rural SK. We drive half an hour to see a GP

4) "We will have a choice between movies!"
Truth- yes there is more than one screen, but they are more expensive here and it's not the same when you don't know half the people in the movie theatre......

5) "Things will be cheaper in the big city"
I keep detailed notes of grocery prices (I'm nerdy like that) and the prices between stores in Estevan and Winnipeg are actually the same- in fact some prices have gone up since we've been here! The PST is at a higher rate and we get way more taken off Chris' paycheque for taxes.

In the spirit of thanksgiving here are some things that I love about living in the big city

1) The airport! It may not have direct flights to the UK (though I haven't lost hope) but it was still a huge blessing to not have to start and end our long strenuous journey across the pond with a two hour drive. It will also save us on parking fees when we fly out as a family.

2) Hospitals and specialists! GP's may still be rare but when we got Jack's EEG done at 8am in the morning I was very thankful the hospital was only 30 minutes away. Had we still been in Estevan I presume it would have been a 4 hour round trip.

3) Costco. nuff said

4) Swimming lessons. I laughed when the guy at the Y told me the lessons were pretty full and proceeded to tell me I could choose the 4:30, 5 or 5:30 slot. Obviously he has never tried to register his kids for swimming in Estevan.

5) New friends. Words cannot express how much I miss my Estevan family but I know that I am cared for by my new Winnipeg family and meeting new friends is always an adventure. I will never find exact replacements for my Estevan friends but in case anyone in Winnipeg is wondering I am still looking for someone who can teach me to fold fitted sheets, go on evening walks (not in winter!) and declare "no pinchy, no" every time we see a lobster.

Odesk Made me Go Uh-Oh!

You've been emailing me in the thousands, harassing me by phone and text day and night and stopping me on the street to ask:

"Have you made any money Odesk?

Ok,  maybe I am exaggerating a bit- but it is time for an update! Well I haven't made thousands of dollars in my spare time. I have made $23 and spent hours applying for several jobs. The problem with Odesk is that people are looking for cheap labour, and there are lots of people willing to work for next to nothing- like less than a $1 an hour. I try to excuse it by presuming (without actually checking) that   $1 US an hour in the Philippines is a really good wage, and then I came across US Pastors and Churches who hired Odesk workers at a low rate for all manner of administrative tasks. Everything from transcribing an audio recording of a sermon to designing flyers for the upcoming pastors appreciation banquet (the contractor for that current job would have needed to design 6 flyers for to afford a ticket to go to the banquet!). Now I needed to know if these workers were being paid fairly, and seriously resisted the urge to fire off an email to some of these churches.

Even with the internet at my disposal, finding a comparison wage is pretty tricky. I do discover that a young Indian girl picking tea leaves for my morning cuppa makes about 30cents an hour, in which case no wonder those with some computer skills and the equipment are flocking to Odesk (and I resolve to double check all my tea is fair trade).  In the Philippines it's a little different as far as I can tell, but it seems that $5-$7 US dollars an hour would be an average wage, making $1 an hour well below the average.

Before you join with me in fury at these Odesk pastors and Churches I suggest you do what I did- check the label on your clothing. Right now. Go ahead and check. If I am mad at churches for farming out work for cheaper labour, I should be equally mad at myself. I can justify purchasing clothes from companies who favour sweat shops, their workers experiencing both low pay and dangerous working conditions, but I can't justify what happens on O desk? Perhaps because on Odesk I have a name and a face that goes with the low wage. When Nike first offered customized shoes with customers names emblazoned on the side, I heard of a gentlemen who requested the shoe be marked with name of the child sweatshop worker who had made it (I believe Nike declined). I wonder how my shopping habits would change if the tag bearing the cheap price I love also bore the photo of the worker who would never make enough money to buy it.

Do you have any thoughts on clothing and sweat shops? Where can you buy clothes that aren't made in sweat shops? Is a low wage better than no wage? Comment and let me know your thoughts.

Life is like a.....

If you are thinking box of chocolates you would be wrong! You may never know exactly what you're going to get, but what do get is covered in one of the worlds best discoveries- chocolate. I don't know about you, but not everything I've pulled out of my "box" of life  has been as sweet as chocolate. Hubby and I were discussing what we felt were some of the more horrific news stories of the week, we were constantly correcting each other on the facts when we realized we were talking about two different events, the bombing of the church in Pakistan killing and the siege at the mall in Kenya. Life is not like a box of chocolates.

I don't subscribe to Forrest Gump's philosophy on life, but I do subscribe to the Phil Vischer podcast and much prefer his interpretation of life which he shared shortly after the school shootings in Connecticut last year: "Life is like a broken amusement park" . I don't recall everything that Phil said in the podcast, (but I promise it's 41 minutes you won't regret!) but that one quote hasn't left me and whenever I hear of horrific or tragic events my first thought is that the amusement park is still broken. God designed the amusement park. It's designed to bring joy, to be something exciting. And if it wasn't broken, that's exactly what our life and our world would be like- full of joy and happiness.  But it is. It is broken. We are having fun on the roller coaster and without reason or warning we are flung to our death. We experience immense joy followed by horrific and unexplainable events.

Phil goes onto expand the thought but in the light of the horrific incidents such as the ones of this week, it brings comfort to me. It doesn't bring any noble purpose to the horrific events, it doesn't help find a non existent silver lining that God had to allow these tragedies to occur for some good to happen somewhere else, but it comforts me because it reminds me that this is not the way God designed life to be. God didn't design the amusement park to fling us to our death, he designed it so we could be in relationship with Him and have great joy. And though the amusement park is broken, I can still try and enjoy the ride until it get's fixed.

Can You Trust a Guy with a Beard?

My computer screen was a mess of open windows this mornings and as I started closing down windows I came across this. I have no idea what I clicked on to get there but it just had to be shared!! It's by Matt McInerney from pixelspread.com and is eerily accurate. Click on the picture to enlarge and discover if you can trust the bearded men in your life.